October 30, 2008

For Christ's sake

I feel like lately my mind has opened up to so many things. Instead of always finding the easy solution, believing in what others offer as the truth and letting others determine what I should be, I've dared to think. It's surprisingly challenging trying to figure out my opinion about things, instead of always agreeing with what, let's say, Christianity has to say. So let this be a text about about the stuff that frustrate me about Christianity right now.

  • Always referring to a higher authority. It's like we're not allowed to think on our own but have to accept what e.g. the Bible says is right.
  • Fundamentalist Christians who have certainly lost the plot. The Bible is not a science book, it's not a history book and its laws and rules have not been intended to be directly applied to today's ethical problems. What I believe the Bible (and oll of Christianity) are, is a way of trying to explain something that can not be explained. Of course you'll find lots of flaws in the Bible if you try to read it as a fact book. So many Christians have completely misunderstood the meaning of faith and that's why they make Christianity seem so ridiculous to many.
  • The incredible amount of spiritual violence that occurs amongst Christians. Faith is an area where people are the most vulnerable at. It's WRONG to poke into an open soul that's looking for something (somekind of a meaning, an answer, a god) and mess around with it. I'll set my personal experience as an example here. I've been to (too) many Christian services and events where they've suggested people to "surrender to God", "to ask Jesus into their heart", "to take the leap of faith." Believe me, I've tried this surrendering. Hasn't worked. And what has been the explanation? I've been told that it's my own sceptisism that prevents God's work in me. That my heart isn't open enough for God to enter. BULLSHIT. What kind of a God would be so small and weak??
  • Missionary work. What right do Christians have to claim that their way is the only way of believing? That their way is the only true way to find a god? That their explanation if the only way of explaining something that can not be explained?


You have to shatter the old to find something new. Right now, I'm searching. If I'll find my way back to Christianity, fine. Just as long as whatever I'll find will give me some answers.

(Ironic that the bullet points of my frustration came out as cute flowers.)

October 02, 2008

Matters of right now

Self-centered thoughts in a self-centered blog.

What I was thinking, was how much do I matter? Seriously, there's six billion people in this world, don't come and tell me I'm significant. When I was younger I used to dream about changing (and saving!) the world. I still do, sort of, but I'm quite cynical about it. And a cynic is something I never wanted to become!!

Is it just me making my life miserable like this or is it something I can't fight against?

The lifespan of a relationship

It's always extremely sad to notice that you're not as close with a friend as you used to be... Is it just a part of life you have to accept? Is it better just to let things go than try and keep a close friendship going by force? Friendships always have two sides, so they need two people to keep them going.

God how I hate things fading! I really prefer things endind suddenly than them slowly withering away.